I remember getting the Sears catalog and a few other random ones as a kid. They were like candy to me but my mom was very "we are NOT a catalog family" so I just had to dream.
Somehow my three year old has learned to say "It's too bad we dont have the money to buy all the trucks" as we are entering Target. Fine with me! We will see what happens when he realizes you can buy things from the computer.
I just bought a sweater from Pact and am excited to wear it, when it isnt 85 degrees out.
On the topic of the Amazon catalog - my kids (7 & 5) were fighting over who got to look at it first so ferociously - and there was no turn-taking option that they were amendable to - that I ended up banning it from the household & throwing it in the recycling. I thought I’d have a small mutiny on my hands after that act, but there was a park birthday party with donuts to schlep to, and the fresh air & sugar rush buoyed their spirits.
On the larger point of kids & stuff - right now we’ve been managing along okay with regular discussions of experiences vs. stuff (we’re an outdoorsy family, so lots of camping where they have very few toys available, but nonetheless have a blast), as well as a pretty strict “use your allowance or it can go on your birthday/Christmas wish list, here, I’ll take a picture to remember it” line from both parents. And we only watch media via streaming, so no ads for impressionable minds (whenever I’m in a hotel room for work travel, the ads are genuinely fascinating - especially movie trailers! - as I so rarely see them otherwise!)
But I’m sure this will all get significantly harder as they move into the preteen & teen years. Just in a lucky easy stage right now, at least for this issue.
I think my kids only see ads on Youtube Kids (another reason why it's evil), which I've tried to ban in the face of complete meltdowns but agree that streaming is helpful for that reason. We are also in the "either your allowance or bday/xmas list" category but somehow they get so much random stuff from school bday goodie bags or relatives. All our family bdays are also concentrated around the fall/holiday season so it feels extra concentrated. Now going to recycle said catalog...
Pact’s organic cotton sweaters are my go-to for great quality basics! The honeycomb is thick, doesn’t snag as easily as one might fear (altho it can snag). Fisherman’s tunic is a warm hug, perfect for WFH with leggings. And the classic fine knit is perfection as a light layering sweater - I wear my two crew sweaters weekly all through fall/winter/spring, and they’ve held up wonderfully for two years & counting! Probably going to get a v neck for this year as well.
I feel this so hard. We have so much stuff and somehow are constantly getting more, plus there are definite pack rat tendencies here at play. Plus if it’s a book or a game, my threshold is so much lower and I tend to get it. BUT, I am making a conscious push and we are trying to move towards the library (my kids are complaining about having to return them so we have some work to do), and to the, buy it or put it on the bday/Christmas list mentality. I’ll be on the lookout for the catalog and put it directly into the recycling bin. No need to invite any more meltdowns.
Yes to all of this. What's interesting is that 2 of my kids looked at the catalog and said, "Ugh. The stuff they're selling kids these days is horrible." I couldn't believe it, but I wasn't mad about it!
This is SUCH a fantastic read-- and a great observation that there was more 'friction' to buying even 10 years ago. We are very mindful of what comes into our home, but it hasn't stopped my 3 year old from accurately observing that we can buy anything we want from our computer or saying "Mommy, we need a new one-- let's buy that!" when something is used up or breaks.
I typically just search Everlane, Gap, and Madewell for 100% cotton sweaters. I am curious about the quality of Quince's cotton because they follow me around alllll day online.
Cos cashmere sweaters are great to buy especially during sale. They have some cool easy silhouettes, are super soft and I wash them in the machine regularly.
Yes! The label says ‘machine wash cold on gentle cycle’. It’s such a game changer. No more expensive dry cleaning with toxic chemicals. Also I recently read somewhere that cashmere is sort of an all weather material.
I'm going to have a slightly contrary take that what I like about the Amazon catalog (and I think Target sends one out too) is that it is a physical object rather than just scrolling online endlessly through every toy Amazon has online - which is something we don't allow! That's such a rarity in my kids world today that I like that there's a bit of a start to the holidays ritual with it coming in the mail. They slowly go through it and then start their Christmas lists from it. I do have a very stern reminder when I hand it over that "there are no guarantees you'll get anything from this" and they seem to do fine with that. (my kids are 7 and 4 for reference!)
Our first introduction to American Girl back in the day was through a catalog given to my daughter by a friend. It was honestly like a magazine: oversized, lush photography (was probably the Christmas catalog). It felt like a special item, to keep and pore over, like you would keep a Vogue with your favorite supermodel on the cover. We did keep it for years, I'm hoping it's in the box of my daughter's AG stuff in the garage (but not going to look for it, lol).
With all due respect, there is nothing new under the sun. I'm Old, so in my day, there was the Sears Wish Book. We pored over it as kids, and made our Hanukkah lists from it. One of my Aunts once told a story about picking up the phone one day to hear a tiny, high pitched voice saying "Hi Aunt X, for Hanukkah I want..." And her response, "is this Nephew?"
Kids are always going to want things. It's a parents job to explain the difference between wants and needs, and set expectations. It's part of life. Kids might have more options via social media and streaming services to see more things to want, but those of us who got up early on Saturdays to watch hours of cartoons bugged our parents plenty for what we saw advertised.
For sure. But the gap between desire and gratification has changed based on social media, technology, etc, which changes the amount of work for the parents.
I love your newsletter so I hope this doesn’t come off the wrong way, but isn’t there some irony in complaining about your kids’ propensity toward materialism, only to follow it with product recommendations? Meaning, consumerism is in the air we breathe, so can we blame them?
Oh I completely get that. I feel it too. I also write for the Strategist so I’m constantly thinking about this dichotomy. But also accept that on some level people, including myself, are still consumers, so would rather guide towards things that have been worthwhile than not or direct towards artist/brands/orgs I do support.
I’ve had luck telling my kids to circle what they might actually want, and just put a heart next to things they think are cool. We strictly buy 3 gifts for Christmas and that’s it so the wish list is high stakes. But putting a heart next to it is a fun way for us to connect and them to communicate ideas and feelings with me :)
I remember getting the Sears catalog and a few other random ones as a kid. They were like candy to me but my mom was very "we are NOT a catalog family" so I just had to dream.
Somehow my three year old has learned to say "It's too bad we dont have the money to buy all the trucks" as we are entering Target. Fine with me! We will see what happens when he realizes you can buy things from the computer.
I just bought a sweater from Pact and am excited to wear it, when it isnt 85 degrees out.
On the topic of the Amazon catalog - my kids (7 & 5) were fighting over who got to look at it first so ferociously - and there was no turn-taking option that they were amendable to - that I ended up banning it from the household & throwing it in the recycling. I thought I’d have a small mutiny on my hands after that act, but there was a park birthday party with donuts to schlep to, and the fresh air & sugar rush buoyed their spirits.
On the larger point of kids & stuff - right now we’ve been managing along okay with regular discussions of experiences vs. stuff (we’re an outdoorsy family, so lots of camping where they have very few toys available, but nonetheless have a blast), as well as a pretty strict “use your allowance or it can go on your birthday/Christmas wish list, here, I’ll take a picture to remember it” line from both parents. And we only watch media via streaming, so no ads for impressionable minds (whenever I’m in a hotel room for work travel, the ads are genuinely fascinating - especially movie trailers! - as I so rarely see them otherwise!)
But I’m sure this will all get significantly harder as they move into the preteen & teen years. Just in a lucky easy stage right now, at least for this issue.
I think my kids only see ads on Youtube Kids (another reason why it's evil), which I've tried to ban in the face of complete meltdowns but agree that streaming is helpful for that reason. We are also in the "either your allowance or bday/xmas list" category but somehow they get so much random stuff from school bday goodie bags or relatives. All our family bdays are also concentrated around the fall/holiday season so it feels extra concentrated. Now going to recycle said catalog...
Pact’s organic cotton sweaters are my go-to for great quality basics! The honeycomb is thick, doesn’t snag as easily as one might fear (altho it can snag). Fisherman’s tunic is a warm hug, perfect for WFH with leggings. And the classic fine knit is perfection as a light layering sweater - I wear my two crew sweaters weekly all through fall/winter/spring, and they’ve held up wonderfully for two years & counting! Probably going to get a v neck for this year as well.
Plus, you know, ethical manufacturing & sourcing.
Obligatory referral link: https://blue.mbsy.co/CjcgM
Link to their sweaters: https://wearpact.com/women/apparel/sweaters
TY! Those sound great.
Thanks for the Daytrippers rec! I watched it on a train this week and loved it -- wouldn’t have discovered it otherwise
Sweaters: Primary.
I even have two size 14 cardigans that fit me in a cute shrunken way that's great with dresses.
I feel this so hard. We have so much stuff and somehow are constantly getting more, plus there are definite pack rat tendencies here at play. Plus if it’s a book or a game, my threshold is so much lower and I tend to get it. BUT, I am making a conscious push and we are trying to move towards the library (my kids are complaining about having to return them so we have some work to do), and to the, buy it or put it on the bday/Christmas list mentality. I’ll be on the lookout for the catalog and put it directly into the recycling bin. No need to invite any more meltdowns.
Oh no is it already out? Have to continue to avoid the mailbox now.
Yes to all of this. What's interesting is that 2 of my kids looked at the catalog and said, "Ugh. The stuff they're selling kids these days is horrible." I couldn't believe it, but I wasn't mad about it!
I’m looking forward to this moment!
This is SUCH a fantastic read-- and a great observation that there was more 'friction' to buying even 10 years ago. We are very mindful of what comes into our home, but it hasn't stopped my 3 year old from accurately observing that we can buy anything we want from our computer or saying "Mommy, we need a new one-- let's buy that!" when something is used up or breaks.
I typically just search Everlane, Gap, and Madewell for 100% cotton sweaters. I am curious about the quality of Quince's cotton because they follow me around alllll day online.
Cos cashmere sweaters are great to buy especially during sale. They have some cool easy silhouettes, are super soft and I wash them in the machine regularly.
You can put cashmere in the wash?? Incredible. TY.
Yes! The label says ‘machine wash cold on gentle cycle’. It’s such a game changer. No more expensive dry cleaning with toxic chemicals. Also I recently read somewhere that cashmere is sort of an all weather material.
I'm going to have a slightly contrary take that what I like about the Amazon catalog (and I think Target sends one out too) is that it is a physical object rather than just scrolling online endlessly through every toy Amazon has online - which is something we don't allow! That's such a rarity in my kids world today that I like that there's a bit of a start to the holidays ritual with it coming in the mail. They slowly go through it and then start their Christmas lists from it. I do have a very stern reminder when I hand it over that "there are no guarantees you'll get anything from this" and they seem to do fine with that. (my kids are 7 and 4 for reference!)
As my husband said: "you can make a wishlist, but it's not a shopping list."
Our first introduction to American Girl back in the day was through a catalog given to my daughter by a friend. It was honestly like a magazine: oversized, lush photography (was probably the Christmas catalog). It felt like a special item, to keep and pore over, like you would keep a Vogue with your favorite supermodel on the cover. We did keep it for years, I'm hoping it's in the box of my daughter's AG stuff in the garage (but not going to look for it, lol).
With all due respect, there is nothing new under the sun. I'm Old, so in my day, there was the Sears Wish Book. We pored over it as kids, and made our Hanukkah lists from it. One of my Aunts once told a story about picking up the phone one day to hear a tiny, high pitched voice saying "Hi Aunt X, for Hanukkah I want..." And her response, "is this Nephew?"
Kids are always going to want things. It's a parents job to explain the difference between wants and needs, and set expectations. It's part of life. Kids might have more options via social media and streaming services to see more things to want, but those of us who got up early on Saturdays to watch hours of cartoons bugged our parents plenty for what we saw advertised.
For sure. But the gap between desire and gratification has changed based on social media, technology, etc, which changes the amount of work for the parents.
I love your newsletter so I hope this doesn’t come off the wrong way, but isn’t there some irony in complaining about your kids’ propensity toward materialism, only to follow it with product recommendations? Meaning, consumerism is in the air we breathe, so can we blame them?
Oh I completely get that. I feel it too. I also write for the Strategist so I’m constantly thinking about this dichotomy. But also accept that on some level people, including myself, are still consumers, so would rather guide towards things that have been worthwhile than not or direct towards artist/brands/orgs I do support.
I feel this BUT also see looking at the catalog as something for my kid to do. Some quiet time, if you will. And I will!
true true
I’ve had luck telling my kids to circle what they might actually want, and just put a heart next to things they think are cool. We strictly buy 3 gifts for Christmas and that’s it so the wish list is high stakes. But putting a heart next to it is a fun way for us to connect and them to communicate ideas and feelings with me :)