1. Long drives. I ask my kid what they'd want to share, and they are good for about five songs before feeling self conscious. Then, I share songs I want them to appreciate, and explain my love. I get about two explains and five songs, I begin to lose them so I toss it back. I also ask questions and note things I like.
2. Three jar allowance: Savings, Spending and Helping Others. I give equal to each every week. Spending I don't judge, Savings they need to ask/justify as not frivolous and Helping Others is for a cause they think is important. Spending used to be candy, but lately has gone into Savings; as such, I've been less stringent on what is okay. My sons are thoughtful about what they get--it means something to them.
3. Expectations without dictates. We used to have a family reading time, but what was read was not proscribed. We expect involvement in art/music and athletics. When my older son dropped band, he said he was interested in piano and did that. Then, guitar. He also moved from school sports to simply becoming a gym rat. He's musically proficient and healthy in a way I am not.
4. Chat up what you like. Parents have influence over kids even when they don't think they do. Saying Band X is great is heard, or Austen. Only toot those things you actually like.
5. Play movies you like in public places. Many movies I know I came into twenty minutes after the start, my parents watching. I just played West Side Story while my son sat on the couch watching his own videos, but he kept commenting on WSS, the songs and plot.
Great article. Your daughter is awesome; that photo made my day.
What worked for us:
1. Long drives. I ask my kid what they'd want to share, and they are good for about five songs before feeling self conscious. Then, I share songs I want them to appreciate, and explain my love. I get about two explains and five songs, I begin to lose them so I toss it back. I also ask questions and note things I like.
2. Three jar allowance: Savings, Spending and Helping Others. I give equal to each every week. Spending I don't judge, Savings they need to ask/justify as not frivolous and Helping Others is for a cause they think is important. Spending used to be candy, but lately has gone into Savings; as such, I've been less stringent on what is okay. My sons are thoughtful about what they get--it means something to them.
3. Expectations without dictates. We used to have a family reading time, but what was read was not proscribed. We expect involvement in art/music and athletics. When my older son dropped band, he said he was interested in piano and did that. Then, guitar. He also moved from school sports to simply becoming a gym rat. He's musically proficient and healthy in a way I am not.
4. Chat up what you like. Parents have influence over kids even when they don't think they do. Saying Band X is great is heard, or Austen. Only toot those things you actually like.
5. Play movies you like in public places. Many movies I know I came into twenty minutes after the start, my parents watching. I just played West Side Story while my son sat on the couch watching his own videos, but he kept commenting on WSS, the songs and plot.
Great article. Your daughter is awesome; that photo made my day.
relinquishing control seems quite attractive if it means i can stop being the spotify DJ