Have you read Hunt Gather Parent? I haven’t finished it yet but there are some interesting takeaways re: child centered activities vs family centered activities. Anytime we remember this and lean on the “family centered” mode it is so, so much better
This is something my parents were really good at, the "family-centered". They actively disliked child centered activities (and I think there were way fewer of them) and so it's been something I try to incorporate into our family! Sounds like great framing.
Why does it somehow feel easier sometimes to do the planned expensive weekend activity with the other family? I usually try to make it a playground meetup to cut down on the constant paying for the things vibe, but I am struggling with the getting your kids involved in yard work/housework and letting them entertain themselves thing that I desperately want. That’s also tied to getting kids to do chores which is and currently remains a goal. Part of it is age of the kids and part of it is my general exhaustion, I think?
I def think there’s an age factor. In Brooklyn there is nothing harder than just hanging out at home on a weekend with both kids. Play date or playground or going somewhere is wayyyy easier. I think this is part of why I romanticize it actually happening — feels like an alt lifestyle. But also interesting to me that some of this is precedent we’ve set (in the city) where they’re like: so what’s the plan for today whereas upstate bc we don’t have this time and scheduling is just so much more fluid and then they’re able to just be.
"Perfect Days" (I watched the trailer) reminds me of the quote – “Before enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment; chop wood, carry water.”
Naming this Activites vs. activity tension is so good here. I also always appreciate you pointing out the "organizational and emotional" loads. I feel that acutely when taking care of my sons' (ages 4, 6 and 8) various friendships and other commitments. Perfect Days looks so good!
I had this experience last weekend at our out-of-the-city home and reading this I had that great sense of community/not alone/feeling seen. It’s not something I’ve heard or seen talked about elsewhere so, thanks so much!
Thank you for sharing these experiences - I could not agree more! We try for this in our household and it always feels to special when it happens, for lack of a better word. I agree that age is a huge factor, our kids are 5.5 and 8. And I love the phrase "actively showing that homes need care", life doesn't happen magically!
Have you read Hunt Gather Parent? I haven’t finished it yet but there are some interesting takeaways re: child centered activities vs family centered activities. Anytime we remember this and lean on the “family centered” mode it is so, so much better
I haven’t, but I like this framing. I will check it out!
I had a few beefs with this book but I did find the family-centered bit to be freeing. Haven’t taken my kid to the zoo since. 😂
This is something my parents were really good at, the "family-centered". They actively disliked child centered activities (and I think there were way fewer of them) and so it's been something I try to incorporate into our family! Sounds like great framing.
Why does it somehow feel easier sometimes to do the planned expensive weekend activity with the other family? I usually try to make it a playground meetup to cut down on the constant paying for the things vibe, but I am struggling with the getting your kids involved in yard work/housework and letting them entertain themselves thing that I desperately want. That’s also tied to getting kids to do chores which is and currently remains a goal. Part of it is age of the kids and part of it is my general exhaustion, I think?
I def think there’s an age factor. In Brooklyn there is nothing harder than just hanging out at home on a weekend with both kids. Play date or playground or going somewhere is wayyyy easier. I think this is part of why I romanticize it actually happening — feels like an alt lifestyle. But also interesting to me that some of this is precedent we’ve set (in the city) where they’re like: so what’s the plan for today whereas upstate bc we don’t have this time and scheduling is just so much more fluid and then they’re able to just be.
"Perfect Days" (I watched the trailer) reminds me of the quote – “Before enlightenment; chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment; chop wood, carry water.”
Naming this Activites vs. activity tension is so good here. I also always appreciate you pointing out the "organizational and emotional" loads. I feel that acutely when taking care of my sons' (ages 4, 6 and 8) various friendships and other commitments. Perfect Days looks so good!
sam fragoso could have cracked that nut.
I had this experience last weekend at our out-of-the-city home and reading this I had that great sense of community/not alone/feeling seen. It’s not something I’ve heard or seen talked about elsewhere so, thanks so much!
Thank you for sharing these experiences - I could not agree more! We try for this in our household and it always feels to special when it happens, for lack of a better word. I agree that age is a huge factor, our kids are 5.5 and 8. And I love the phrase "actively showing that homes need care", life doesn't happen magically!