On breaks between zoom meetings, my pandemic version of “taking a walk around the block” is browsing for any number of items I have on a list to replace or update in my house (a dresser, the shower curtain, etc), and slowly making my way through the list of seasonal attire needs of my kids, determined to be prepared (soccer cleats, sandals, shorts, etc). My browser is full of anywhere between a few and a dozen tabs of never-checked-out shopping carts, and lots of guilt over the unfulfilling way I’m using my time, spending money (in general), and the more edifying things i’m not doing. It’s a vicious cycle with just enough mundane utility that makes it tough to break.
These feelings are further exacerbated by the packages that arrive on our porch; this week this included; a pair of waterproof mittens and rain pants for Julian, replacement parts for a loose rack in our dishwasher, a book on back pain, an array of perennial seeds for ambitious outdoor projects, and a few things for stuffing easter baskets on Sunday.
The impact of having a world without physical stores and an abundance of time at home is somehow both less friction between browsing and consumption, and less imagination for things we might do that are not online browsing. While this act has always been a guilty pleasure, making that also a frequently needed outlet for supporting basic sustenance makes the check-out flow a sour trigger.
On one hand, im glad for the efficiency of this all. On the other hand, I have dreams of leisurely browsing in physical retail spaces. Of making choices based on texture and shape versus well-photographed online imagery. Of my kids connecting desiring and buying to something more tangible than a box or a screen. Of spaces offering the act of discovery, not the act only of wanting and a rapid transactional experience.
There are so many forms of disconnect that have taken hold in the last 13+ months. Physical disconnect, conversations that spin in our heads, the disconnect of children at play; endless permutations of loss of intimacy. There’s light in glimpsing our vaccinated future and the slow rekindling of both relationships and -- perhaps, some values that we connected to these everyday acts, and didn’t know we’d lost until we’d lost them.
Things to do with your kids instead of online shopping:
Read: Ada is on a Raina Telgemeier bender (last week we read Smile, Guts, and Sisters); having open conversations with your 5 year old about puberty, pimples, and unemployment is not the shrouded childhood I had. She’s also loving the Mac B Kid Spy series, Mrs. Piggle Wiggle, and The How and Wow of the Human Body (from Guy Raz and Mindy Thomas of Wow in the World). Julian just wants to read the adorable Mac Barnett + Jon Klasson book, Extra Yarn, about the girl who knits sweaters for her entire town, all day every day.
Make: Rainershine makes awesome artist-inspired craft kits for kids (like Matisse, Ellsworth Kelly, Yayoi Kusama) that come in cute packaging and connect the project to the artist. Also, first box comes with a CUTE tie-dye t-shirt.
Plant: My kids will hang out outside pretty much as long as I’m doing any yardwork. If you’ve been thinking about fixing up your greenspace and live in the Northeast, Shrubbucket is my new plant jam. They do free delivery of plants, shrubs and trees and help you find the right greenery for your zone. These robust gardening tools for your kids will keep them on task!
And some mind opening, often therapeutic podcast episodes for adults to help you process everything:
On Being: Christine Runyan with Krista Tippett -- What’s Happening in Our Nervous systems?; that feeling of overwhelm? Yeah. It’s grief processing, nervous system overload, and so much more manifesting in our bodies and it’s ok.
The Daily: A Food Critic Loses Her Sense of Smell; the NYTimes food critic Tejal Rao talks about losing her sense of smell from COVID-19 and her journey to regain this sense. I love the conversation around making your pain your passion, and not being its’ victim.
Time to Say Goodbye: Interpreting the Atlanta Massacre; an analysis of the categories of responses to the spa killings and how this fits and doesn’t fit into broader narratives of AAPI hate.
The Homesickness Cure: How Immigrants Can Figure Out What They Really Want + Define Archaic Ideas of Success; shoutout to my work wife Leah Feuer who talks about her coaching practice and how she got there.
Still Processing: Now that’s what I Call a Bridge! I love hearing Jenna Wortham and Wesley Morris’ take on most things, but also particularly love the deconstruction of Olivia Rodrigo’s Drivers License, because, embarrassingly, it helps me finally understand TikTok. Switched on Pop also has a good take on what makes this song the song of the year, which I will admit, I needed the full-blown analysis to really see.