A Friday night newsletter? In truth, I thought I sent this newsletter on Wednesday, but it turns out I didn’t.
This is the last newsletter of 2021. This newsletter began as an experiment of putting my roving thoughts down during an anxious time, capturing absurd moments, and remembering what is often the utter mundanity of parenting small children. It’s turned into an important outlet, way to keep myself writing and processing, and a way to connect with others.
So, thanks for reading, please get boosted, and I hope you have as safe, healthy, and restful a holiday as possible. I’ll be drinking negronis, attempting to bake this chocolate babka wreath, and reading as much as possible.
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Ten Ways To Be Late For School
Wake up on Monday morning, toss your blankets and pillows out of your top bunk bed, and come into the kitchen moaning that you have a headache because you’ve fallen out of your bed. Insist this is true, despite the rail, despite no thud, despite the artful staging of duvet. When your mom doesn’t believe you, go and hide until you’re definitely going to be late, then insist that the only shirt you’ll wear is one that nobody has seen for six months and might have been given to Goodwill.
Ask your mom to freeze your yogurt cup the night before so you can eat “frozen yogurt” for breakfast, but then have it be so frozen it’s impossible to actually eat. Ask for it to be microwaved, then after it’s microwaved, claim it’s too melted and have an hour long tantrum.
Race your sister to be the one to push the button to call the elevator and then fight in the hallway for fifteen minutes about who got to push more buttons. Literally, everyone, guys.
Insist on having your hair combed at the exact moment you need to leave.
Ignore everyone and build an elaborate marble run until your parent has to pick you up kicking and screaming down the hall.
Get fully dressed with your shoes and coat and mask and backpack on then decide one of the three shirts you’re wearing is wrong and you need to get dressed all over again.
Claim that your legs are sore and you can’t walk to school because…you slept too much.
Dump out the entire basket of masks on the floor because the only mask you’ll wear is the one mask that’s filthy.
Insist the only way you’re going to school is if your dad pulls you in a wagon. Have a standoff when things don’t go your way.
Point to a license plate and ask your mom what it is and when she says, “A New Jersey license plate,” explode with rage because you didn’t want it to be that.
Year end recommendations for the kids:
Watch: The kids have been loving Vivo, and I have to say the songs are pretty damn catchy. Features Lin Manuel Miranda as a singing kinkajou not missing a beat.
Read: The books of Elsa Beskow, known as Sweden’s Beatrix Potter, whose woodland stories are rife with the magic of the forest. We love Children of the Forest.
Quick thrills: This video of a slug escaping a venus fly trap on IG.
Last minute gift picks: any kit from Kids Made Modern, Play Follies, this Fujifilm Intax Camera, and these flip book kits (def going in Ada’s stocking). You can also shop my many @kidsbookrecs from Bookshop.org or shop your community bookstore.
Recommendations for the grown-ups:
Watch: Blue Jay (Netflix), Mark Duplass’s 2016 film, co-starring Sarah Paulson as his long-ago high school sweetheart during a one night walk down memory lane. [Indiewire review here]
Eat: If you’ve been vaxxed and boosted, then Nan Xiang Xiao Long Bao in Flushing is extraordinary for soup dumplings.
Visit: The Ruth Asawa show, All is Possible at David Zwirner — for the wire sculptures, but also for the drawings and the ceramics. Up through tomorrow!
Also visit: Lightscape at the Brooklyn Botanic Garden, perhaps the only COVID-friendly family activity I can think of these days…
Listen: Summer of Gold, a podcast about the 1996 Olympics and its impact on women’s sports, narrated by Michelle Kwan (!). So good! (Also flashback: that was the year I went to UNC Chapel Hill soccer camp with Mia Hamm).
See you in 2022.