Ada’s penchant for collecting things started in preschool, when she would collect leftover art supplies — sequins, glitter, tiny beads, and stuff them in the pockets of her clothes. One of the things she liked to accumulate was cut-out photos of gems and jewels from magazines, an activity she discovered when introduced to collaging, one of the frequent activities available during Choice Time. She would amass literally hundreds of pictures of bracelets and necklaces and Tiffany’s diamond rings, jaggedly cut-out the way a three year old uses scissors, and put all of these tiny pieces of paper, along with the aforementioned sequins, glitter, beads, and rocks, into her designated drawer of the class rolling cart, a proxy cubby.
The same preschool had a rooftop playground and as part of the landscaping efforts the school had put gravel around the edge of the play area. Ada noticed that amongst the gravel were occasional colorful pebbles, no bigger than the size of peas, so she would spend all of recess squatted on the periphery, collecting as many of these tiny, tiny rocks as possible, which also ended up in her pockets, and then also made their way into this same rolling cart.
Our way of managing this was to give her a giant ziplock, which was where she could put things she collected. The ziplock was soon filled with detritus of all types: food, rocks, shells, rubber bands, toys, etc. She brought it to school every day, then back home, and slept with The Bag in her bed and ate with it next to her at breakfast, and asked for it, the way you might keep a lovey.
At the end of that IRL school year, which was when COVID hit, I went to school to gather some of her belongings, not knowing if we’d go back. I remember on the wall of the classroom they’d done an activity where kids had to cut-out their name from printed out letters, which were pasted into the outline of an airplane. They then decorated their airplanes with drawings and sequins and other assorted art supplies. The other kids’ airplanes used a sparing amount of supplies. Ada hadn’t exerted any such restraint.
I gathered her picture, then went to collect the items from her rolling cubby, which is when I discovered the 1000+ pieces of miscellany in her drawer. I peeked into the other kids’ drawers, to see if they too, had accumulated, and in those drawers found a lone stuffy, or a book, or maybe a few plastic dinosaurs.
We moved abruptly out of the apartment where Ada kept The Bag, and in the hustle of the move, may have intentionally left The Bag behind. Much to our surprise, Ada forgot about it for a few months, until, upon realizing she needed a container to stash the new things she had amassed (dried flowers, herbs, colorful rocks, heart-shaped rocks, sea glass, etc.) that she needed a New Bag.
New Bag expanded into Shoebox, Shoebox expanded into Easter Basket, Easter Basket expanded into Box plus Bag plus Basket plus empty Warby Parker glasses case filled with rocks plus three books plus lovey which all need to come to bed with her every night. One of these bags for at least three weeks contained a mix of ferns, jellybeans, clovers, and legos, until it fermented into a dark brown paste. At this stage, she extracted the jellybeans (which were in another bag), washed off the paste, and ate the candies one by one. [insert horrified face]
The Child Mind institute, in their description of Hoarding Disorder, makes an effort to distinguish between collectors and hoarders.
“Hoarders tend to acquire and hold onto objects that most people consider useless (rocks, toilet paper tubes, paper, Happy Meal boxes, food.)”
Hmmm, yes. And then in the collector boat:
“Collectors also show pride in their collections, organizing them, sharing them, and talking about them.”
Hmm, also yes. And then back in the hoarder category,
“Whereas a rock or stamp collector will search out specific items for his collection, a hoarder will acquire items seemingly at random and then struggle when asked to part with them.”
Hmmm, also yes. I’d say the verdict is decidedly unclear.
Her penchant for finding things worth collecting is not a skill only to our detriment; she’s the first to spot a fossil on a hike, the first to see a funky mushroom in the woods. She can spot the tiniest of red spiders on a forest floor. She could find your lost wedding ring in a sea of ferns. She found our actual car keys in the yard.
An optimist might say that Ada is a kid who finds beauty everywhere. Every rock, flower bloom, broken piece of green glass, insect, mushroom, and sequin is incredible. So incredible she needs to have it. So incredible she can’t let go of it. Just let her have one more beautiful thing.
Recommendations for the kids:
Summer kid PJ sale alert: Primary has 30% off pajamas, and Hanna Anderson has sleepwear starting at $20.
Summer activity: Sorry but I’m the mom that buys workbooks for my kids the day school ends; my favorites are the Summer Brain Quest series (which they have for Pre-K to K, K to 1, 1 to 2, 2 to 3, and up to grade 6) which come with maps at the end and stickers for completing each activity, which is highly motivating for my daughter. Bookshop also has a good collection of other summer activity books for keeping kids busy.
Play: My daughter’s most coveted object, which she’d been saving up for since Christmas, was a Magic 8-ball. We gifted her one last week to celebrate finishing Kindergarten, and it was the best money I’ve spent in a while. It’s unlocked many dimensions of her brain, with questions such as: “Am I the actual best?” “Will my brother ever be helpful?” and “Am I a witch?”
Brush your teeth: Turns out the thing we needed to get my kids excited about brushing their teeth was this $3.99 kids electric toothbrush from Target. So, between that, and Chompers, the kids’ toothbrushing podcast, maybe we’re on our way to better hygiene?
Recommendations for the grown-ups:
Listen / Read: Dave Eggers has a forthcoming short story coming out that I’m excited to read: The Museum of Rain, published by McSweeney’s. He was recently interviewed (on his flip phone from his internet-less house) by Sam Fragoso on a special episode of Talk Easy, and relays the wisdoms of being in nature as much as possible, which resonated deeply.
Bake: I made this blueberry almond tea cake last week (and subbed in 1/2 cup of Rye flour that I accrued during the Great Sourdough Flour Acquisition Craze of 2020) for a bit of the whole wheat and it was A+. Sub in any other berry you have for the blueberries.
Sun Protection: I’ve tried many sunscreens in the last 2 months and my favorite for kids hands-down is the La Roche-Posay Gentle Sunscreen (goes on easy, doesn’t smell bad, SPF 60, stays on while running wild). My favorites for my own face in this order are: Kiehl’s Super Fluid UV Defense, EtlaMD Daily Face Moisturizer and Sunscreen, the La Roche-Posay Light Fluid Facial Sunscreen, and the Supergoop! Glowscreen SPF 40.
That’s all for today! If you liked this this newsletter, share it, send it to a friend, and let me know!
thrilled to know my kids aren't the only hoarders/collectors. probably not "clean", but my kids love neutrogena clear face sunscreen and their wet skin stick. literally goes on wet skin and smells good.